the time i learned to kiss on a boy that wasn’t my boyfriend when I had a boyfriend

I was thirteen and really nervous about my first kiss with my experienced boyfriend so I asked my friend Megan for help. Like a tinier Rosie Perez, Megan was sassy, loud and had no regrets. She had a solution to most any problem and my kissing fears were right up her alley.

After school I met her in the woods behind her house and she presented me with Josh.


Josh was a sixth grader from down the street with a shaved head and Megan instructed me to make out with him.

“He’s the best kisser in the neighborhood. Everyone uses him for practice.”

I nodded nervously and turned to Josh. He was all business.

Surprisingly delicate, he took his time positioning my chin, then reaching up and putting two hands firmly on my shoulders. He glanced at Megan once, received what must have been some unspoken cue, and dove in, shoving his eleven – year old face into mine.

Next thing I knew, we were kissing. Or, something was happening. A lot of movement and then it was over. Megan was right in there, giving a pointed critique as I pulled away touching my lips to make sure they were still intact.

However violent and unexpected, I  liked what had just  happened.

Megan gave a couple notes and so did Josh, mainly just moving his two index fingers in large rapid circles around each other so I’d get an idea of what should be going on inside our mouths.  I nodded, processing. Then we did it again.  Each time it made more sense. Megan coached and Josh and I practiced for nearly twenty solid minutes.

After a while, it got to be kind of fun. I touched his face. I moved my head around. I sighed loudly. I was getting really into it but Josh was getting antsy. Finally he looked at Megan and said, “I think she’s ready.”

I wanted to object but he was already walking towards his 10-speed mumbling something about his playstation and Megan seemed to agree that their work was done.

Before leaving Josh glanced at both of us and said, “See ya on the bus.” I nodded a thank you and then he was gone, his legs pedaling rapidly towards the safety of the asphalt streets.

That night was my big date with my boyfriend. After an informative conversation about life as a middle school wrestler, he took me outside the Lueggs sandwich shop and leaned me up against the wall in the shadows.

He was dressed nicely, slicked down hair, scrubbed clean skin and he radiated Cool Water cologne. He tilted my chin, put his hands on my shoulders and then ran them down my arms…

I wasn’t a religious child but as he descended upon my face, I shot up a silent prayer,

‘Here it is. My first kiss. Please god, let me remember everything I learned today.”


2 responses to “the time i learned to kiss on a boy that wasn’t my boyfriend when I had a boyfriend

  1. If anyone has any information regarding the whereabouts of Josh, please let me know ASAP.


    Alec Wells

  2. Do you need his services? I’m not sure that he’s still in business…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s